I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
