O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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