explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize