Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
