just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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