And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
