To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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