you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
