True but thats because hes a fetus.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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