Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
