we're blogging at a bar
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
