i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
