I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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