And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
