I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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