We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
