does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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