He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
