the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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