I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
