Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
