If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Randomize
