i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
