we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize