I checked into jail on foursquare
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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