help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
