Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
