Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
