This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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