I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize