My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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