look no pants
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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