people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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