So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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