she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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