She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
