And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
