I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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