The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
