I'm eating all of the evidence.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i think i scared a bird with my dick
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize
