He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
