I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
