im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
