I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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