boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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