apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I know her cup size but not her name....
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
