the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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