the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
