You're my little dorito
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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