You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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