i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
