so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize