Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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