brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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