connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
