Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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