i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Randomize
