I faked an abortion last night.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
