He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
