chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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