I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
