Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
