Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
