I want to make a zoo with you.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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