You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
