Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
don't judge my taste in strippers
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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